Friday, January 25, 2013

Dear Anonymous - No, I Will Not "Click Here"

When I started this blog, like most new bloggers, I was desperate for comments.  Just some validation that the stuff I was writing about was worth reading or that a project I just finished didn't completely suck.  It's been a long time since that first post, and I feel like I've come a long way in my actual sewing skillz as well as my ability to write posts that please me while simultaneously caring less about whether they garner buckets of comments or no one makes a peep.

Some people may like to eat you, but I'm done with you on my blog.

With that being said, it was high time I made a very important modification to how I "do" comments here on the blog.

A few things:
  1. I hate word verification.  Like, hate-with-the-fire-of-a-thousand-suns hate.  I get why people decide to do this on their blogs (to keep spam down and whatnot), but honestly I am a living, breathing, human being who does not wear coke bottles on her eyes and at least half the time I get it WRONG.  This bothers me so much that the many times I do get it wrong I don't even bother trying to leave the comment anymore, I just straight up leave the site with a grumble and an "oh well".  
  2. I am pro comment moderation.  Because I hate word verification and refuse to have it on my blog, I decided to enable comment moderation so that no weird spammy links would fall through the cracks.  The last thing I want is for some lovely person who is visiting my blog (and so hardcore engaged that they are actually reading comments on a post) to click on a link left by a commenter and get spammed or sent to some seedy link.  I realize, this is something I can handle because I:
    1. Don't get buckets of comments generally.
    2. See #1.
If it wasn't inferred above, I have allowed anonymous comments since I started the blog.  I haven't allowed all of them to be PUBLISHED, but I have allowed them to come to my attention.  I wanted to acknowledge that not everyone who reads my site or happens upon it through a Google search or whatever will have a user ID for Blogger or an OpenID, so I wanted to allow for the fact that legit people may need/want to use the anonymous comment feature.  With all that being said, I've decided to DISABLE anonymous comments on this blog.   Lately I've been getting gobs of them that end with various links to weird websites, and it's become completely annoying to comment moderate them.  I'm just done with it.

Just for fun (because I'm nothing if not EXTREMELY fun), I'll leave you with a little sample of my BEST ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.  I read them to Mr. Skooks sometimes and have recently shared some with my friend (may I call you friend?!), Larissa, because I know she understands where I'm coming from and she can appreciate a good one now and again.

In the category of Overly Flattering for No Particular Reason, the nominees are:
  • Woah! I'm really digging the template/theme of this blog. It's simple, yet effective. A lot of times it's challenging to get that "perfect balance" between superb usability and visual appearance. I must say you've done a superb job with this. Additionally, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Internet explorer. Outstanding Blog! Here is my web-site ... [insert link to a website about acne treatments here]
    • Thanks for the empty platitudes, person who shall remain nameless.  I'm assuming you think I'll publish this even though you've placed a ridiculous link at the end of your comment.  Also, are the quotes around "perfect balance" meant to be sarcastic?  Why are those words in quotes?
  • I'm really impressed with your writing skills as neatly as with the format for your weblog. Is this a paid subject matter or did you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is uncommon to see a nice blog like this one these days.. my web page :: [insert link to a website for something "tantric" here]
  • Very quickly this website will be famous amid all blogging viewers, due to it's pleasant content Here is my webpage : [insert link to a website selling tobacco here]
    • Very quickly I will be famous?!  You're right . . . everyone loves pleasant content AND tobacco!  WIN-WIN.
In the category of Completely Incoherent, the nominees are:
  •  I've been exploring for a bit for any high quality articles or weblog posts in this sort of house . Exploring in Yahoo I at last stumbled upon this web site. Studying this information So i'm satisfied to show that I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered exactly what I needed. I most for sure will make sure to don?t disregard this site and provides it a glance on a constant basis. My web site ... [insert link to random YouTube video here]
    • I have an incredibly good uncanny feeling about you too.  Or something to that effect.
  • No matter if some one searches for his necessary thing, therefore he/she desires to be available that in detail, so that thing is maintained over here. Feel free to surf my webpage [insert link to random YouTube video here]
    • That thing IS maintained over here.  I strive to maintain all the things.  In detail. 
  • Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told was once a amusement account it. Glance advanced to far introduced agreeable from you! However, how can we keep up a correspondence? Here is my webpage ...[insert link on how to speed up your computer here]
    • A great question!  How CAN we keep up a correspondence?  I love putting random words together, tossing in some random punctuation, and seeing where the day takes me.  Seems like we have a lot in common.
In the category of Comments That Make You Go WHA?!, the nominees are:
  • I'm gone to say to my little brother, that he should also pay a quick visit this blog on regular basis to get updated from most up-to-date information. My page - [insert link to something about numerology here]
    • I bet your little brother will be very interested in the most up to date information I have on using stuff around my house to make other stuff.  It's very cutting edge and the tech on these kinds of projects is changing CONSTANTLY.  
  • You could certainly see your expertise in the work you write. The arena hopes for more passionate writers such as you who aren't afraid to say how they believe. All the time go after your heart. Also visit my blog :[insert a link to something about male breast reduction here]
    • Does "the arena" also hope for more passionate writers about male breast reduction?  What is THE ARENA?!
  •  My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the costs. But he's tryiong none the less. I've been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year and am worried about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic things about (some website I've never heard of that I deleted for your protection). Is there a way I can import all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated! Also visit my web page - [insert link to something about "electric baseboard heaters" here]
    • Aside from the fact that this blog is hosted by Blogger and I know nothing about Wordpress (except the fact that it exists), what the nut is this person talking about?  I'm not a computer programmer nor am I a web designer.  I should think that would be pretty obvious from my lack of change in website design for the last 3 years.
And finally, my #1 Favorite Comment . . . the absolute winner for Ironic Comment of the Year goes to:
  • Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you prevent it, any plugin or anything you can recommend? I get so much lately it's driving me crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated. Here is my site - [insert link to a site about tattoo removal here]
    • This is the gem I shared with Larissa immediately after I peed myself laughing over it.  A plugin I can recommend for people that get lots of spam comments?  REALLY??  I'd tell you, but right now I'm busy checking out how to remove all these tattoos.
What was your favorite comment?  I can't be the only one dealing with this.

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